Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Wahhh its been a while and I really need to start blogging again as my writing seems so dry and poor nowadays 😂

So after a 3-years struggle at my previous workplace..I have decided to quit the job as my health is being compromised! It's not an easy decision to be made but I believe in HIS planning for me..HE moves my heart to quit and start all over again from this age..starting from zero is so challenges my physical and mental! But I keep on reciting "hasbunallahuwanikmalwakil" and "bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah" worries seems to fade away and unusual strength comes my way..

I made my homework on seeking for a job opening and finally, I have chosen the one that will be starting on next week..hopefully there's a good thing happens in the new workplace and looking forward on meeting the professional colleague..

As I was "paused" from my job routine..I started to see the beautiful of HIS plan..I quit my job at the point when my mom needs a helper at home, when a friend of mine who is undergoing a chemotheraphy session needs my support, when my body needs a good rest to fully recovered, and when my family need me to drive them to places..

I had struggled to survive on what people say about me.."quit ur job again?"..."hey, its not easy to find a job nowadays!"..."ada master tapi asyik cari skola je..rugi ar"..."alaa biasala stress tu"..

But I understand that they are not wearing the shoes that I wore..they don't know the struggles that I have been through..they no nothing about being passionate in an education line..and yeah..they don't pay my bills! 😁 so their cynical opinion doesn't piss me off..I smile and I believe in myself..

As I have come to the end of the waiting..I see a beautiful plan right behind me all this while..I started to understand on why it is being realised now and not then..I totally understand on this quote..
   Allah bagi apa yang kita perlu..bukan yang kita mahu kerana DIA tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita..

Will try to write again soon... 😂

Saturday, December 20, 2014

I would rather stop dreaming when not much time left for me...

I'm back again to my 'secret hiding place' hahaaha.. Few more days to approach a new year of 2015 and my life is in the state of misery again..i really envy seeing others so loyal to their workplace when I can't..

It always bothering my it me who cause the problem?? Well..most of the time i always facing issues with the management..i can't work with those craps and unprofessional people!! I really need a management who can appreciate their employees..

Sometimes, i think that all the management people does not really undertood on the management thingy..they are becoming the management because they were borned with the business, because they have money to start a business..and for that, management are simply meant that you could manage while on the other hand, management covers a big area..

From my observation, many businesses established within family members are lacking in the management issues..these kind of businesses do not have an HR department to manage the employees and therefore, the employees will not get their right..the management will stick to the 'take it or leave it' principle..

I truly hope and pray that i
n 2015.. I would be hired by a professional corporate company and believe it or not, teaching is no longer my priority..after some times, i think i wanna give up in teaching..why? I don't have any specific answer it just happen that the passion is fading away..after all the struggles, all the limitation, all the hardships, finally i give up..i would prefer to have a routine office job...i wish, i hope and i pray that my wish will be heard by HIM insyaAllah..

Saturday, April 26, 2014

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” ~ Albert Einstein

Hello world! (this is my very first statement that my lecturer taught me while learning the C++ programming when I'm doing my Diploma! ngee~ ) My heart's crying all this while as I couldn't afford to realise my further study in UK or to be specified, at the Uni. of Cambridge..whOoOooaa.. I really hope that one fine dream won't be just a dream..I want it and I want it so bad..huhuhuuuu..well, it's been 1 semester that I'm working here (in one of the private colleges in JB), teaching the undergraduate IT students..everything seems so fine at the very beginning until it comes to the end semester where I'm having problem with the Management..well, it tells a lot about the importance of 'management' is very crucial and even how technical it was, an organization or processes will fail if they can't plan well..if you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail! indeed~ 

This is one of the challenges that you have to face when you are working with PEOPLE..yes! we are human.. human has emotions and it varies! Even how hard you try to get the 'win-win' situation, at one time, either you or the other person will get hurt.. I'm the kind of person who can't tolerate with all the 'fake' people, all the wrongdoings, all the 'i'm the boss!' thingy.. trust me I CAN'T!! even that I'm being positive, but living and working with those types of people make me sick..why you are faking yourself just to pleased others? oh damn! I just hate the situation.. and recently I realised that I'm working so truthfully to the betterment of this college and what did I got in return?? all the blaming?? all the accusing without fair judgement? oh crap! My heart's hurt a lot when they are just listening to one side who's feeling threaten without having me in the discussion about me..

Day by day as I go to work..the spirit is no longer there..the passion is fading away..and the worst part is I couldn't share this to my parent as the blame will come back to me..and for that..after a deep thought..I've decided to tender my resignation letter..what's the point of being here when you are not appreciated?? huhuu maybe it's time to let go and walk to another door that might be better than the previous one...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

“Knowing someone isn't coming back doesn't mean you ever stop waiting” ~ Toby Barlow

WE are praying so hard for your return
coz WE believe that you are somewhere there
safe and sound..

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

“Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.” ~Robert Frost

The only thing that I try to achieve now is to stabilise my emotion because i'm in the process of allocating my heart and mind for my Phd..i really determine for this time around as I'm trying to invest for something big in my future..wanting to be an academic staff in either the public or private university here in Malaysia and because of this, I'm consuming the Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) now lol! :p but it does works! i feel so much calm now and matured enough to deal with stress heheee

So, even that there's a lot of obstacles coming and my life is in a slow-moving pace, i will still try to stand still and grab every opportunity that will bring me closer to my dream..and it's not an ordinary dream..there's a price that i need to pay for this particular dream..i have to sacrifice a lot in terms of time, money and life requires me to stay focus and continuously commit to this thing once i put myself into it..for some people, their road to Phd might be very easy as simple as 1,2,3 but as for me..i can't be selfish because my parent did not support the idea of being highly-educated..for them, its better to work rather than having all those certificates..but the thing dream is to be a lecturer and to be an academic staff, one should pursue their studies to the highest level..but many times i tried to explain this to my parent, many times they don't want to understand the i've made up my mind..i've found the job so the next plan is to prepare the Phd proposal and seek for a SV in my previous uni and once i've been accepted, i will try to seek for a scholarship..that's the plan that i'm going to stick with for this whole year..

So for those who already has something planned in your head, go for it! make it happens because even if you are failed, u wont be regret as u had tried ur best beforehand..lets live our it high! be it realistic! :)

Friday, February 28, 2014

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try. ~Beverly Sills

Christina Perri : “Human” 

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I could stay awake for days if thats what you want
be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
if thats what you ask
give you all I am

I can do it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human and I crash and I break down
your words in my head
knives in my heart
you build me up and then I fall apart
cause I’m only human

I can turn it on
be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds if that’s what you need
be your everything

I can do it

I’ll get through it

But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human and I crash and I break down
your words in my head
knives in my heart
you build me up and then I fall apart
cause I’m only human

I’m only human

just a little human

I can take so much
till I’ve had enough

‘Cause I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human and I crash and I break down
your words in my head
knives in my heart
you build me up and then I fall apart
cause I’m only human

That's right..we are all human..and as for me, i will not letting my feeling shows because i believe that all of the people deserves to be happy and we have no right to snatch their happiness by dragging our problems onto them..or make them affected by our no matter how hard it is..lets try to face it! be professional..don't hurt others..bring peace to others and spread the love... :)

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” ~Mark Twain

Hello cyber world!! :) It's such a blessed when you are working around the career that really suits your job interest..where you can find the self-satisfaction, where your passion lies in..despite the hectic management pressure, a long list of tasks, the still pending 'to-do' lists and so forth, you will still feel happy though! that's when you finally realize that you are really doing something that you are passionate at! As for me, the passion is always teaching!! Being a lecturer is something that I'm looking forward at..even the road is not a straight road, i will surely take the courage to drive it to the end. And of course, I am still finding the best time to proceed for my Phd's going to be one fine day..but for the time being, i'm really enjoying my current job..even the private college students are rather 'spoiled' and 'pampered', i still have faith that there's still a minority of them who really want the just that they are not given an opportunity like the other to enter the public universities due to the school assessment result that prohibit them from obtaining a place in that particular university. So as a lecturer, being judgemental is not the right thing to be done as we should be professional enough to deal with various types of students' attitude and behavior..lecturers in a private college need to be mentally strong as sometimes, students attitude will challenge our principles, they will complain to the management saying that the lecturer is this..this..and that..but the truth is, they simply don't want to submit the assignment, they feel it's too much for them, they feel like the quiz and tests are so difficult that they couldn't pass it..they will give you a dozen of excuses..because they are coming from the rich family where their main concern is just getting the Diploma certificate and later on they will be working in their father's company. Because of this mentality, the other students who feel like the private college is their second chance learning platform, they will somehow get influenced or for some other portion will get distracted by those students' attitude in class. So as a lecturer, it requires a lot of psychology and negotiation skills in order to deal with those kind of students, and the best part is when you finally able to inspire them a little bit by getting them to know their own-selves and their potential. This is important because sometimes they are yet to matured to understand about life and how their current life will impact their future life.. 
To conclude, being an IT lecturer alone is not enough to nurture and inspire the students..what's missing is the life lesson that should be exposed to the students as their mind is still rebelling for freedom..they hate commitment! So if their parents have missed out this task, then the teachers and lecturers are the next person who should carried it out.So the secret is..don't ever being so calculative to share your knowledge and experience to others! The more you give, the more you'll gain! Have a nice day! :)